she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
