why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
