i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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