ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's shark week go big or go home
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
