Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
