My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
