Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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