your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
