farters have to be the big spoon...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
