cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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