I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
