C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I bet he comes in French.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Green mimosas i think yes
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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