is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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