At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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