eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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