he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
