apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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