Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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