i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
