dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I touched a dick in church today
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
