margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
