is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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