Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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