need another drink. this is the easiest way
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
