First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
