bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
