I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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