I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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