Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
