sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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