I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
