I wish I could teleport
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
