Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
