he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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