Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
