im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
did you just send me my own nude
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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