cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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