i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
