Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
