Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
