hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
