There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
