I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
