at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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