i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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