so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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