What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
