am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
