I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
