On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
